The need to belong

Several days ago I wrote a blog about feeling separated from love, and how that feeling — or fear — can be eliminated. It was inspired by a couple of friends of mine who are considering divorce from their spouses. Lately, I have been thinking about the inverse of “separation” which is “belonging.”

Hmmm, maybe the fear of separation is also a fear of not belonging — to a family, a group of friends, a social, religious or business community. The desire to belong to a particular tribe is visceral: deep and strong.

I am sure sociologists have observed the whys and wherefores of this…the only knowledge I have is observing my own tribe(s).

I have seen people move from one tribe to another, either because they felt rejected from one or just preferred joining a new tribe (kinda like high school cliques). I have also seen people be a member of several tribes at once, either by “compartmentalizing” (no crossovers) or by migrating a few members from various tribes into their other tribes. (I have a friend who is REALLY good at this…wish I was better at it.)

And I have one friend who has felt SO rejected by one tribe that she has not only burned all bridges to the first tribe she has offered up the embers and ashes to the new tribe as proof of her willingness to belong. Phew.

Where am I going with all this? Well, I am feeling very very sad about this friend and I want to help. But first I need to get into that spiritual dimension that clarifies and elevates my thinking so that I really CAN be of positive help.

Who do we belong to…does anyone belong to us?

To begin to consider this, I have to start from the highest point I can think of, and that is the divine Spirit. From the spiritual study I have done throughout my life, this Spirit is the only source of life for all beings. It is the Creator of life for us all.

The Creator not only creates life, It sustains the life. Every moment of every day the Creator, the Life of life, maintains Its creation.

Oh boy, lots of times we think we are doing everything ourselves…we are on our own. But for the most part, we don’t like being on our own — which is why I think we are compelled to form circles and tribes to support us through life. For companionship, for learning, for health and well-being. This is a good thing!

To me, these are symbols or “hints” of how Spirit supports us. Regardless of whether we think about God supporting us, our tribes are in a way a provision for us in this life-experience. To support us in being fulfilled.

There are a multitude of tribes in the world, maybe as many as the stars in the heavens! But like those stars, there is an established order. Stars don’t vote another star out of the universe, right? With the recognition of one Divine order, then all the tribes move in relationship to each other. No competition, no warfare, no rejection, no winners and no losers.

Belonging to a tribe or tribes is a good thing as long as it helps us to be better. To me, this desire to be better is instilled in our hearts by the divine Spirit. So the collective desire to be better makes a tribe a key factor in supporting the growth of the member.

I hope my friend’s new tribe is helping her be better. Try as she may, she can’t really reject the former tribe because it helped her be better too. Those spiritual lessons learned can’t possibly be excised from her consciousness (how can you “unlearn” something that was good?).

Here is a quote from one of my tried and true spiritual resources, Science and Health:

One infinite God, good, unifies men and nations; constitutes the brotherhood of man; ends wars; fulfils the Scripture, “Love thy neighbor as thyself;” annihilates pagan and Christian idolatry,–whatever is wrong in social, civil, criminal, political, and religious codes; equalizes the sexes; annuls the curse on man, and leaves nothing that can sin, suffer, be punished or destroyed.