Being “alone” isn’t being “a loner”

My dad used to say, “You don’t get into heaven two-by-two”, referring to the Bible story of Noah’s ark. I know he meant that every person’s spiritual development is highly individual and unique. And that you can’t piggyback on someone else’s spiritual lessons.

Which is NOT to say that we don’t need other people on our spiritual journey. In fact, I am convinced that without others, good and bad, we can’t learn the lessons we need to in order to have heavenly experiences, wherever we are.

Maybe this blog is a continuation of the other ones I wrote in the past several days about “Separation” and “Belonging” …evidently I am working some issue through in my head!

Being alone with one’s thoughts is good — but acting alone without regard to the implications of one’s thoughts is not, IMHO.

I’m thinking about this right now because just in the past week I have witnessed actions by friends who, due to their own evolved thinking (i.e. alone), have unilaterally taken actions without considering the impact of those who love them.

Something isn’t right about that, it seems to me. Just from a human standpoint, that appears selfish. What happened to the Golden Rule, “love thy neighbor as thyself”? There’s a reason why most spiritual movements and religious canons include this guide-for-living: it works to make better relationships, even communities.

Hmm, think about it: you treating your neighbor as you would like to be treated (loved)…your neighbor treating HIS neighbor better…and so on, and so on. Now that is a two-by-two way to a heavenly journey!

Here’s the way I look at it. All the interactions I have with others — my marriage, family, co-workers, friends, community — give me the real-time experiences (uhh, read “challenges”) I need to further my spiritual understanding. Without relationships, my spiritual development would be mere theory.

Relationships provide support too. I can’t even count the times when I have relied on the spiritual perspective of others to lift me out of a dark hole.

I remember a line from a movie from a long time ago that never left me. It was a story about a family living on a farm, and it looked like the parents (Albert Finney and Jessica Lange, I think) were heading for a divorce. One of the parents was explaining why, saying that sometimes over a period of years one parent moves ahead of the other one.

Sounded reasonable to me, until the kid responds with an incredibly profound question: “Then shouldn’t one WAIT for the other?”

Oh wow, this is so TRUE! See, relationships are rarely a runaway horserace…people are always growing, sometimes pausing or plateauing, then moving again. Just not at exactly the same speed as each other. Over the course of a relationship, the learning is like passing a baton from one to the other…we always can learn from others. It is EXACTLY what helps us grow. So why leave behind that which helps us grow?

“Love thy neighbor as thyself” is a spiritual imperative. It isn’t just about helping someone else, it is about helping our own self because it eliminates selfishness.

I like being alone with my thoughts, especially when I am thinking about spiritual ideas and insights. But at some point in the day, these insights must be put into practice — they must be proven. That requires engagement with others.

Hmmm, it just hit me — that is what real fulfillment means to me.